Hall of Fame Addtions / Dead Man Walking

A few weeks ago Sylverster Stallone was voted into the Boxing Hall of Fame for pretending to be a boxer. Literally, he was given the same boxing honor as Mohammed Ali. Don't even think about that twice, your brain will start forgetting crucial skills like reading, writing, and driving just to teach you a lesson. So I am accepting it, and in my acceptance I am creating a list of people I would like to see inducted into different Hall of Fames for pretending to be what those halls honor.

It should be noted ESPN Page 2 also had the same idea, I won't supply a link, it's easy enough to find and I don't think they have any problems creating web hits. So, screw you World Leader and your list of obvious candidates, I like my list better.

1. Michael J. Fox-Teen Wolf : Basketball Hall of Fame; Springfield, Massachusetts

The day Michael ummmm........ Scott Howard decided to embrace his curse and "wolf out" on the basketball court is a day that fans of the hardwood will never forget. Scott "The Wolf" Howard's game was not only flashy, but dynamic, paying above the rim while still hitting shots all over the floor. He led his once downtrodden Beavers high school basketball team all the way to the championship game. Their opponents?; the feared and respected Dragons. It was in that game that the real legend of Scott Howard came to be. Against his coaches wishes, Scott refused to wolf himself. Scott had to prove that he alone could win "the big game." In the final seconds of a heated contest Scott, sans the wolf, hit both free throws to win the championship! Michael J. Fox welcome the National Basketball Hall of Fame.

2. Dog-Air Bud: Volleyball Hall of Fame; Holyoke, Massachusetts

Not since Jim Thorpe have we seen such an athlete. Five films spanning the sports of basketball, football, soccer, baseball and beach volleyball. Regardless of being a straight to video release, Air Bud: Spikes Back, the last of the series, really saw this dog find his calling. I am of the opinion this is why the highly successful Air Bud series came to an end, there simply wasn't anywhere else to go. The Volleyball Hall of Fame is in the city that I now call home, Holyoke, Massachusetts. I am offering my services as the man........to introduce the dog .........to immortality.

3. W. Earl Brown Theres' Something About Mary: Baseball Hall of Fame; Cooperstown New York

Released during the height of the steroid era, W. Earl Brown's character Warren dared to ask the question, "Have you seen my baseball." The message was lost on many, mainly because people watching the flick didn't know whether to feel horribly for Warren or to laugh hysterically at the fact he clearly wasn't like the rest of us. What Warren was really asking was, "Have you seen my baseball?" The baseball of yesteryear, the days of large stadiums, 1$ bleacher seats, Americana, and all that other crap Ken Burns seems to defecate all over PBS every 5 years. Warren was one of the first to wave the red flag that the game was getting away from us. If only someone would have taken his inquiry seriously. Warren........welcome to Cooperstown........unnecessary earmuffs and all.

4. Ed O'Neill-Married With Children: Football Hall of Fame; Canton, Ohio

First of all let me say I love football. The Cleveland Browns literally have made me cry and although I can't confirm it, I have a feeling my negative reaction to a Steelers/Browns game in 2003 was the beginning of the end to a long term romantic relationship in college. So, this was a very hard choice.

Anyways, do I need to remind you of the man that scored FOUR touchdowns in a single game to win the city championship for Polk High! With an annoying wife, slutty daughter, and disappointing son, Al Bundy was every man. Slaving away in a shoe store, all Mr. Bundy had was his status as high school legend. He later took the leadership skills he learned on the field to form the organization No MA'AM, a group dedicated to stopping "women's progress." Supporter's of Title IX may disagree, but welcome to Canton Ed O'Neill

Oh..................one more thing.

Dead Man "gini" Walking -Hell yea that was clever

That would be a picture of Browns coach Eric Mangini celebrating a regional championship with the Kew Colts, a semi-pro team from Melbourne Australia that Mangini coached in between semesters attending Wesleyan college. Take note that Mangini appears to be employed in this picture. Something I think that will change after the Brown's season ends in 2 weeks.

Out of Control

I will continue to write only when I feel like it. I'm not going to force the issue as I see no point in writing garbage just to put something out.

1. Lebron is coming back to Cleveland and from what the media is telling me, the town is going to take out 46 years of getting it's ass kicked out on #6. Seriously, not since the East Coast/West Coast rap battle of the mid nineties have I seen the media actually seem to encourage someone doing something incredibly stupid and dangerous. All the normal suspects are at work, ESPN, Fox Sports, Yahoo Sports, Bloggers, and Twitter have all hit a level media insanity that I thought was only reserved for Presidents dying and terrorist attacks. Poor Rachel Nichols, I don't think the woman has slept in a month. Between Bret Favre and Lebron's return, Mrs. Nichols has that college finals-week look. The look that says, "Don't you dare f^&* with me, I've had nothing to eat but cheap coffee and cigarettes for 3 days now and I'm still not nearly done with whats in front of me."

2. As for my fellow Clevelanders, we feel just as entitled as Lebron. Lebron's entitlement is the result of a massive talent that hasn't been coached or critiqued since he was in high school. Cleveland's entitlement is jack-ass behavior as a result of being the victim of constant sports misery. This whole event is becoming a sad excuse for people to behave badly. The media, the fans, even Lebron........knucklehead antics all around.

3. What will happen Thursday night? I think something stupid and possibly dangerous. Too much booze, too much anger, and too many people too close to the court. As one fan put it on Cleveland radio, "People already got they bail money ready." When people feel they are entitled to act like morons, they will. From the moment Lebron made his "decision," this day was coming and Clevelanders were making plans.

4. How bad will it be? Bad enough that Cleveland will fall out of favor with the rest of the country. I think it will be so bad that the national feeling towards Lebron could change from hatred to sympathy.

5. What do you mean by bad enough? I think Lebron goes old school, takes over the game, and drops 45-50 on the Cavs in a runaway victory. If this happens and the game gets away from the Cavs, the arena will get away from security/law enforcement.