5 Things

After attending "Back Up Bowl" this past Sunday at Cleveland Browns Stadium, I have to say I am a little miffed. People really do act like idiots. I am now dubbing the walk from the numerous tailgating lots to the stadium as the Million Moron March. Are you offended, fine, just stop doing these 5 things to change my opinion on the process.

1. Stop cursing out people wearing the opposing team's jersey, especially when they are with their kids. I get it, they're on "your turf," and you must defend it by assaulting them with monosyllabic obscenities and 4th grade taunting. The Fight Club quote, "Congratulations your one step away from bottom" comes to mind. "You just gonna let them wear that jersey into Cleveland Browns stadium!?" yes.......yes I am. I usually allow people to wear clothing when they go to a public place. It's not disrespectful, or insulting, or some ridiculous threat to your well being, its a jersey. Let it go.

2. Barking. Sorry kids, I'm done with the Dawg Pound. Hanford Dixon is gone and the defense hasn't been "Dawg Like" in decades. It's not cute, its fairly mortifying. In most major cities, adults barking as they walk down the street wouldn't be a point of pride, it would be proof of a failed public school system. Well, come to think of it..........

3. Stop using city trash cans to start fires in order to keep warm. This seems to be a staple in the Municipal Lot along I-90. I would invest in gloves. It seems loads easier than moving a metal trash can, filling it with wood, and then setting it a blaze only to put out three hours later. Muni-lot as its affectionately called, looks like the beginning of Terminator 2, with robots being replaced grown folks in Dog masks.

4. Stop walking to the game with hands raised in the air like you just caught the game winning touchdown. Lets start with the fact that the game hasn't started yet, so why anyone would be celebrating is beyond me. Throw a 4-11 record on top of that and its a no brainer that this particular ritual should be stopped. Also, it just looks bad, especially when said "athlete" is holding a cigarette in one of those raised hands.

5. One final thing, to the gentleman that yelled at me and my father to, "move that f^&*ing jap car out of the way," as we were sitting at a red light, I would like to inform you of a few things. Until 2008 the Honda Accord was made in Ohio. Also, the proper place for most vehicles tends to be in the street. I won't get into the nuances of a traffic light, something tells me the colors not being red, white, and blue would cause you to dismiss it's existence.

By no means do I think these people are stupid. I'd bet half are smarter than me. I just don't understand why a South Park-esque mob is necessary before a game. Yes, I know people work hard and pay a lot of money for their tickets. I get the fact that for some people, the eight games at the stadium a year are what makes folks feel better about their crappy job and crappier living conditions. Trust me, I am aware of the passion that people have for the Cleveland Browns (at one point I considered a class action law suit against the team for broken possessions including remote controls, punched-in doors, and once, during a Steelers game a broken-off date) Its great to be passionate, intense, loud, and even a little bit out of control, all I am asking is that people stop acting like idiots.