Lebron's Culture Club

I like to change my mind, a lot to be honest with you. Luckily, I know most of you, and you know me, so this is not a surprise. I have come to terms that Lebron James is leaving Cleveland. I have even accepted Bill Simmon's theory that a late night game of poker during the 2008 Summer Olympics resulted in a pact between Lebron James, Dwayne Wade, and Chris Bosh. This pact would then result in all three superstars playing for the same team staring in 2010. Why may you ask have I pulled a 180 on this theory? Because it makes too much sense when you think about it.

I have been thinking a lot about Lebron James and his need to become a cultural icon that transcends basketball. I keep going back to Michael Jordan. How does one transcend MJ? The man had the talent, the endorsements, the six championships, and even a silhouette of his body that became a symbol for everything him. What does one do to blow that performance off the stage? How about taking a cue from another performer. Not a basketball player, but a performer. How about the greatest rapper alive?

Jay Z and Lebron have been linked for years. They are great friends and members of the mutual admiration society. At one point, a theory had Lebron going to the Jay Z owned New Jersey Nets, after Jay moved the team to Brooklyn. Lebron could live in his favorite city New York and Jay Z could bring an NBA franchise to his hometown. Considering the Nets current state, this seems unlikely. However, Jay's career might be a blueprint (pun seriously intended) for Lebron's takeover (again pun so important) of the NBA. As an artist, Jay ran the rap industry. He became the CEO of rap's original monarchy Def Jam, while becoming bigger than the art form in which he existed. His talent allowed him to not just be an artist, but an icon that controlled not only his career, but the career of many others.

This will be Lebron's legacy. A man who's talent allowed for and him and his friends to control their own destiny and control the balance of the NBA. The only reason it won't be in Cleveland has nothing to do with the town's "woe is me" sports history or lack of nightlife. It is simply because the Cleveland Cavaliers won't have the salary cap space to pull off such a move. Just think of it, Lebron and his boys dominating the league while becoming bigger than the association in which they work. An NBA who's commissioner let the league spiral out of control and then came down hard to overcompensate his own failures. A commissioner that imposed dress codes and gave season long suspensions. Who brought the league back to the "artists?" Lebron and the boys, sounds like iconic status to me.

A Response to a Friend

In the wake of the Cleveland Cavaliers winning five straight, three of which being against Kobe Bryant, Kevin Durant, and Dwayane Wade, my friend wrote a top 5 reasons he hates the Cleveland Cavaliers blog entry . His team of choice is the Detroit Pistons, the once Bad Boys turned bad team, who's mensa move last season was trading Chauncy Billups for Allen Inverson. An equal response to his blog, which by they way is fantastic, would be to write five reasons why I hate the Pistons, but I only need two. Both of which, I feel are strong enough for anyone to develop a healthy hatred towards the team from the motorless city.

1. Bill Laimbeer: There is something about his demeanour that screams douche bag conservative radio talk show host. Not that I have a problem with conservative ideals as a whole, I just hate the current crop of diarrhea of-the-mouth morons who spend 4 hours a day stating that the solution to our country's problems is "NOBama." Bill Laimbeer was also a tremendous jack-ass on the court. After he thugged his way through both the 1987 and 1988 Eastern Conference Finals against the Cetics, it's a miracle he made it out of Boston alive. I'm serious, I live up here, these people are brutal when it comes to the local team. The real kick to the groin? He was originally drafted by the Cleveland Cavaliers.
2. Piston fans sitting behind me: Three years ago my friend Stephanie took me to a Cavs vs. Pistons game at the Q, killer seats by the way. Behind me sat a couple of mutant proportions, the likes of which I had never seen before. The girl had a, smokes Mistys and doesn't take care of her kids look, while the gentleman (a term I have never used so loosely) combined forearm tattoos, Abercrombie khakis, and a worn out muscle shirt in a stunning ensemble. The Cavs got their brains beaten in that night. As I turned to congratulate the male (I find safari-like terms appropriate here), he spat tobacco in his souvenir cup and told me politely to go pleasure myself in the restroom. After he said this, his girlfriend asked him, "Why are you always getting into fights?" He then proceeded to get into a fight with her and was escorted out of the building. Now, I don't know what the mayor of Detroit looks like, but I have been there to take in sights, and if the sights are any indication, I may have sat in front of Southeastern Michigan royalty.

I am glad that a Cleveland team is hated, it means that the Cavs are more than just a contender. I find the hatred ironic from a Piston's fan. The Pistons won back to back championships and their Bad Boy image was hated the entire time. If thats the case, hate on, and on, and on.

Cavs vs. Lakers Thoughts

This is my immediate reaction to the Cavs vs. Lakers game as I watch it.

Throwing a fit in public while watching a sporting event is never a good idea, doing it while at the gym, on a treadmill is even worse. Planet Fitness may be a "Judgement Free Zone," but I'll be the judge and jury when the Cavaliers offensive rotation looks about as solid as the Indians pitching rotation. The Cavs look, old woman in the right-hand lane slow tonight.

Is that Mike Fratello calling this game, or did the manager from the Men's Warehouse in Lyndhurst win a radio contest to be a guest announcer on TNT. That hair piece needs FEMA- like relief, call in the National Guard it's a disaster.

The Lakers look fired up and focused, the Cavs look like kids in a father/son game.

If I were the Cavaliers I would ban all Jay Z from being played over the loudspeakers at the Q. Jay is genius, but clearly wants his good friend Lebron to leave Cleveland. If you had the hottest girl in school, would you listen to the guy's band who was trying to take her from you?Especially if she was with you in the car?

Cavs get their first lead of the game late in the third quarter. Tons of missed shots for both teams. I'm reminded of back yard games of "33" at this point.

Marv Albert has used the word intense roughly 276 times. Marv, it's the two teams with best records in the association going after each other, did you think this was going to be a Sting concert.

The last two minutes of the third quarter was what we have all been waiting for. Big Z hits a three from the corner. Kobe posts up and drops a killer turn around jumper on Parker. Lebron hits a 15 footer from a similar spot on the floor. Gasol misses a baby hook, Big Z grabs the rebound with 22 seconds left on the clock. Lebron calls for the ball, fronts up on Kobe and directs the Cavs to clear out the lane. James doesn't drive, but throws up a jumper, he misses. Kobe calls for the ball with 5 seconds left, draws a triple team, and misses a fade away. The quarter ends with neither Lebron or Kobe winning the momentum battle as they head for the bench.

Hang On Sloopy plays from the loud speakers as interesting line ups from the bench start the fourth. Both teams are trading baskets, trying not disappoint their superstar teammates that are resting up for the home stretch. James comes off the bench first, this game has gotten, dare I say it, intense.

NBA finals type hysteria at this point. I can't tell you enough how much I hope this is the NBA Finals match-up we get, because this is the match-up we deserve.

Commercial for Mel Gibson's new movie looks good. He is playing a crazy man hell bent on revenge. Hmmmm, I'll let you figure that out.

Game comes down to who can execute the best for five minutes. Lebron is taking over, if it weren't for Arrest I mean Artest's big three, the Cavs (James) would be dominating. The crowd at the Q has reached a Ramones show in Brazil level of crazy.

Kobe's turn to take over. He hits two free throws and then ties the game on a lights out jumper. Big Game James answers with an "And 1 Mixtape Tour" block, drives coast to coast and makes an amazing lay-up.

As Paul Gasol misses two free throws and James gets the rebound, an injured Mo Williams is going insane on the bench. Think of cable access broadcasts of a baptist church on Sunday morning.

The Cavs win an amazing contest once the Lakers have to play the foul game. Andy V makes an absolutely monumental rebound on a Lebron James missed foul shot. Andy sinks two foul shots and thats all she wrote. The ladies of The View can start singing.

Some may say Lebron's take over in the fourth was the story of this game. It was, but what enabled him to dominate was the Cavs bench, matching the Lakers bench, shot for shot at the beginning of the fourth quarter. There wasn't an 8 point deficit for Lebron to overcome. This was all done with the Cav's second best player, Mo Williams, injured on the bench. If the Cavs play like this in the playoffs, the 44 year championship drought will be over in Cleveland.

5 Things

1.The New York Jets just made it to the AFC championship game and I for one am thrilled. Anytime a head coach resembling Fog Leghorn can find a way to motivate his team to overachieve it's a good story. In all seriousness, I love the Jets style of football. A great defense, a low-mistake passing scheme, and a running game that breaks through at some point within four quarters is effective. Can they beat the Colts, I don't bet against Peyton Manning, but if you're ruling the Jets out, "this team, I say this team can cause more confusion then a mouse in a burlesque house." -Foghorn Legohorn (with a slight edit)

2.I have heard my fair share of racism and sexism in Northeast Ohio, but a growing problem in Cleveland is regionalism. The mistake on the lake these days; that the typical Cleveland sports fan seems to think they can solve every sports problem with local talent. I understand Lebron James is from Akron and that Bernie Kosar was from Youngstown, I'll even give you the, "what could have been" with LeCharles Bentley, but it's starting to get out of control. As I hear rumblings from Cleveland fan that the Browns answer at quarterback could be Troy Smith, I roll my eyes and look for a quiet, discrete, corner restroom to induce vomiting. What is the scouting report on Troy Smith according to Cleveland fan? The words "Cleveland guy" and "Ohio State" seem to be the highest compliments. Unfortunately for Troy Smith and Cleveland fan, I don't hear the words, proven, NFL, or quarterback in their analysis. The new Brown's regime will be making a move at quarterback in the off-season, but I doubt the necessary criteria will involve "Cleveland guy," "Ohio State," or, for that matter, "Heisman."

3. When I wrote about my thoughts on the Notre Tame coaching job, I suggested that the GoldenDomers take an aggressive, no apologies attitude. Too bad for them their greatest rival, USC, took that mentality and grabbed Lane Kiffin. Still earning their name, Notre Tame.

4.As people continue to give me crap about joining Red Sox nation, the Cleveland Indians continue to give me reasons to feel confident in my decision. The barn burner move this week that will undoubtedly result in Progressive Field having the cheapest cover charge of any outdoor bar in Cleveland, involved the signing of Mark Grudzielanek to a minor league contract. Mark Grudzielanek, a player who's only other job option in Northeast Ohio this summer would involve ripping tickets at Cedar Point, is now an option in the Indians farm system. Come to think of it, aren't all of the Cleveland Indians signed to minor league contracts, hoping one day to be called up to a contender the same way C.C. Sabathia, Cliff Lee, and Casey Blake were called up to the Yankees, Phillies, and Dodgers. Give me a reason to come back home Indians. For now, I'm gorging myself on Fenway Franks and Miller Lights at the Bleacher Bar. Go Sawwwwwwx.

5. You want proof-positive that Lebron James is leaving Cleveland, how about when one of the best beat-writers in business, Brian Windhorst, makes the comment, "Because Lebron is going to do what he wants." In my opinion, it's a further indication that Lebron doesn't trust his team or coach. Lebron has said he only cares about winning championships. Lebron has also made comments on becoming the biggest global sports superstar of all time, a cultural sports icon the likes of which we haven't seen before. If he feels it necessary to do whatever he wants, to me, it's because he doesn't think he can fulfill his self-imposed destiny in Cleveland.

PCPOTW (Pop Culture Pick of The Week)

It's been said that when Nirvana wrote the anthem Smells Like Teen Spirit, they were trying to be the Pixies. Actually, that was said by Kurt Cobain. If that isn't reason enough to get into the Pixies, you should probably burn your music collection like religious zealots did after John Lennon alluded to the fact that the Beatles were more popular than Jesus. Songs like, Allison, Debaser, Gauge Away, and Where is My Mind define what came to be known as Alternative Music. Not sure what Alternative Music was called once everyone was listening to it, but nonetheless you should hit up some Pixie's records.

5 Things

1. In one calendar year Lane Kiffin took over the head coaching job at the University of Tennessee, promised a victory over the National Champion Florida Gators, accused Gators coach Urban Myer of recruiting violations, compiled a top ten recruiting class, and then bailed to take the open head coaching job at USC. This move is cold, Kelly leaving Zack for Jeff on Saved by the Bell cold. However, it is a good move for the Trojans, especially since Ed Orgeron will be following Kiffin to So Cal .Orgeron is one of the best recruiters in college football history, his work includes the U, USC, Ole Miss, and Tennessee. This is the kind of deal Ari Shapiro couldn't even pull off for Vinny Chase. USC will "fight on!" indeed.

2. If you hear an alarm-like sound coming from the Browns facility in Berea, Ohio its just the legitimate football personnel overload alarm blaring uncontrollably. This is real folks, I can honestly say, on paper, the Browns have one of the best football front offices in the NFL. Will it translate to tears of joy running down the dog masks of grown men? We will see.

3. Former NBA player Jayson Williams kills a man in his mansion and gets 6 years at the most. Don't get mad, just accept the fact that professional athletes don't play by the same rules.

4. I think I will use the number four every week as my designated spot (pun intended) for my verbal blasting of professional baseball. I'm sure baseball loves Mark Mcgwire coming forward about his steroid use. It distracts the country away from the fact that baseball has turned into European soccer with it's premiere leagues and muck at the bottom. Steroids aren't the issue, the issue is a complete lack of control over how individual clubs operate and spend money. Where is baseball's Green Bay Packers, San Antonio Spurs, or Pittsburgh Penguins? Small markets matter, mostly because I call one my hometown. At least I have the SAWWWX.

5. There will not be an NFL lockout in 2011. Follow the money trail, all of the organizations, players, and for that matter, the league will loose too much money. Money maybe the source of all evil, but it usually is the source of all solutions as well.

PCPOTW (Pop Culture Pick of The Week)

My IPOD randomly hit upon a Sub Pop compilation I bought when I was 15. Early recordings of Mudhoney, Nirvana, Green River, Soundgarden, Tad, The Fastbacks, and Seaweed all brought me back to covering 3 subject notebooks with song lyrics and band graffiti. I suggest hitting up an old record and see where it takes you. I had 30 minutes of being 15 again and it was damn refreshing.

3 Things

As of today I am officially joining Red Sox Nation. Why? Because this week, while listening to 850 AM WKNR via www.espncleveland.com, the station broke into programming to announce that the Cleveland Indians had just signed Austin Kearns. I cannot in good faith, cheer for a team, that considers the signing of Austin Kearns their hold-the-presses moment of the off-season. I am by no means disowning the Indians. I will of course, dawn the racially insensitive Chief Wahoo hat if they ever get their act together. However, I feel this the most effective way to root for a small market team in today's Major League Baseball. To combat the utter jack assery that is baseball in America one must get equally as stupid. Therefor, I am now a member of Red Sox Nation.

Why the Red Sox? I moved to New England 3 years ago and my constant antagonizing of co-workers regarding their regional teams of choice may be having a negative impact on my career. So, I am making up for lost time by joining their army of passionate and (somewhat) completely irrational baseball fans.

2 Not shocked that:

• Eric Mangini is still the coach of the Cleveland Browns. It's a safe play for Mike Holmgren to keep a first year head coach that finished the season with 4 straight wins, removed the locker room poison, and has proven in the past that he can be a good soldier and can carry out a plan while still being a strong leader. "It's the smart move, Tessio was always smarter."
• Josh Cribbs did not get a worthy offer from the Browns. When your best player makes his biggest impact on special teams, you have more problems than just signing one player. This goes against my initial opinion on Cribbs, but I'm human, deal.
• Cleveland fan is upset that the team did not sign "da guy dat beat da Steelers." Cleveland fan likes to make business decisions based emotion and not intelligence. It's not only about the Steelers, it's about the AFC North division. The Brown's record this year, against the rest of the division, with Josh Cribbs in the lineup ? 0-4.

3. Pete Carroll going to the Seattle Seahawks is smart for Pete Carroll and not smart for the Seattle Seahawks. Pete is escaping a USC program that may have major sanctions placed on them for numerous recruiting and NCAA violations. Seattle is getting a coach who is second to none when it comes to recruiting and selling. Unfortunately, in the NFL, players want to be led and not sold.

5 Things

1. I was obviously happy with Ohio State's performance in the Rose Bowl. Reading what Chip Kelly and the Oregon Ducks had to say in the paper, I thought they had the Buckeyes number. The team sounded extremely confident and their quick striking - multiple threat offense sounded like the typical tripping point for Ohio State. Yes, the Ducks missed a crucial field goal and fumbled the ball while in Ohio State territory, but Ohio State did play well.

Much is being said regarding Terrelle Pryor's 266 yard, 2 touch down, 1 interception performance. Much more is being said regarding Jim Tressel allowing Pryor to throw the ball 37 times. It wasn't all that revolutionary, Pryor has proven he can throw the ball down the field when facing single man coverage. Tressel knew Oregon's dedication to stopping the run would result in single man coverage, thus the offensive scheme was put together. It wasn't "un-Tressel like" to take what the defense gives you and it wasn't Un-Pryor like to throw that much (Toledo/Minnesota games come to mind). Both Tressel and Pryor did what they normally do when presented with the circumstances that were presented to them in Pasadena. To say this win was redemption for the recent string of big game losses is fair, to say both Tressel and Pryor turned the corner when it comes to aggressive play calling and throwing the football more is jumping to conclusions.

2. Tim Tebow's last college game against Cinncinnati was a blowout. I have two thoughts on this:

• As a lesson for coming close to crashing the BCS party, Cincinnati was given a sure blowout game against Florida in the Sugar Bowl. When the BCS games were announced, I and a million other people thought TCU vs. Cincinnati and Boise State vs. Florida would have been better match ups, however that would have been fair. Fair, a word the BCS should have painted on the inside of their toilets so they can literally crap all over it.
• Tim Tebw is hated, sorry, I don't agree with it, but it's the truth. People hate other people as good as Tim Tebow the same way they hate criminals like Pacman Jones. The average Joe American can't relate to either extreme. I like the guy and wish him well, but I can understand why he is a polarizing figure.

3. Dear Northwestern,

This letter is to inform you that the idea to fake a field goal, while down by three, in overtime during the Outback Bowl was not your own. I allowed for the thought to enter your mind as a punishment for not taking advantage of the numerous opportunities presented to you, by me to win the game.

Sincerely

God

4. Thanks to field conditions I haven't seen since Atreyu lost his horse to the Swamp of Sadness in the Neverending Story, Penn State beat LSU in the Capital One Bowl. I found the football field for both the Capital One Bowl and The Champs Sports Bowl to be an abomination. Can someone shoot an email to the management of the Citrus Bowl and inform them of their location? Orlando, Florida, home to horticulture like this, and this, and even this! They can pull a ticket trade with one of the 10 amusement facilities within a 30 mile radius of their stadium and try to pry some of that talent to maintain the disaster they call a football field.

5. My pick for the National Championship game, I like Alabama and I like them big over Texas. Colt McCoy's suspect ability to handle pressure of any kind is why I think the Crimson Tide will roll. Alabama's defense and pro-style offense will be too much for a Texas team that showed their flaws in a Big 12 championship game they should have lost.

That sound you hear is Longhorn fans cheering that I picked against them because, as I have said before, my predictions are crap.

PCPOTW

"See, Billy Idol gets it, I don't know why she doesn't"

Apparently Bill Idol's first band, Generation X was pretty damn good. I would like to thank this guy for cluing me into something I should of already known, Generation X's Generation X is worth checking out.