- Bill Laimbeer: There is something about his demeanour that screams douche bag conservative radio talk show host. Not that I have a problem with conservative ideals as a whole, I just hate the current crop of diarrhea of-the-mouth morons who spend 4 hours a day stating that the solution to our country's problems is "NOBama." Bill Laimbeer was also a tremendous jack-ass on the court. After he thugged his way through both the 1987 and 1988 Eastern Conference Finals against the Cetics, it's a miracle he made it out of Boston alive. I'm serious, I live up here, these people are brutal when it comes to the local team. The real kick to the groin? He was originally drafted by the Cleveland Cavaliers.
- Piston fans sitting behind me: Three years ago my friend Stephanie took me to a Cavs vs. Pistons game at the Q, killer seats by the way. Behind me sat a couple of mutant proportions, the likes of which I had never seen before. The girl had a, smokes Mistys and doesn't take care of her kids look, while the gentleman (a term I have never used so loosely) combined forearm tattoos, Abercrombie khakis, and a worn out muscle shirt in a stunning ensemble. The Cavs got their brains beaten in that night. As I turned to congratulate the male (I find safari-like terms appropriate here), he spat tobacco in his souvenir cup and told me politely to go pleasure myself in the restroom. After he said this, his girlfriend asked him, "Why are you always getting into fights?" He then proceeded to get into a fight with her and was escorted out of the building. Now, I don't know what the mayor of Detroit looks like, but I have been there to take in sights, and if the sights are any indication, I may have sat in front of Southeastern Michigan royalty.
I am glad that a Cleveland team is hated, it means that the Cavs are more than just a contender. I find the hatred ironic from a Piston's fan. The Pistons won back to back championships and their Bad Boy image was hated the entire time. If thats the case, hate on, and on, and on.
The only thing you needed to put on this list was the fact that Detroit still exists. I could have sworn it burned to the ground in the 80's. But that also could have been a John Carpenter movie. Even if it was, it still doesn't explain the lack of paved roads and the startling amount of poor folks offering to pump your gas(or stab you) for 10 bucks. Snake Plissken is sorely needed.
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ReplyDelete3. Pistons fan who publically urinated on the wall of the parking garage at the Gateway Complex in the final minutes of the Cavs defeat of the Pistons in Game 6 of the Eastern Conference Finals: Please note, he did this in front of like, two or three thousand Cavs fans at about the same time as they were watching bitch Rasheed Wallace get ejected from the game on huge screens outside 'The Q.' The Piss-Tons fan (had to work it in somewhere) was promptly chased down by the police (a chase I happily participated in, until I actually passed up a couple of the cops and got worried that I may have been in the line of fire), tackled and arrested. Then, instead of taking him through some backdoor/alley, the police actually PARADED HIM THROUGH THE THRONGS OF CAVS FANS like a downed airman in the DRV! Last I heard he was still sitting on a pile of bricks in the basement of the Cleveland Hilton.
ReplyDeleteCome on dude! How can you hate Laimbeer? We should look up to him. A fat, white, uncoordinated, unathletic big man who could barely dunk a basketball that won 2 championships and managed to have a pretty solid career to boot? There should be shrines of this guy nationwide! Laimbeer gave hope to guys like me that as long as you're an ass and work hard you can make people hate you on the basketball court. I learned 75% of my game from my dad and the other 25% from Laimbeer. He taught me that the best defense is getting into another player's head by being a total prick...look at any one of my game films from high school and you'll know exactly what I mean. You have to at least admire him for that stroke of genius.
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