Wednesday, December 30, 2009
5 Things
Sunday, December 27, 2009
5 Things
1. Stop cursing out people wearing the opposing team's jersey, especially when they are with their kids. I get it, they're on "your turf," and you must defend it by assaulting them with monosyllabic obscenities and 4th grade taunting. The Fight Club quote, "Congratulations your one step away from bottom" comes to mind. "You just gonna let them wear that jersey into Cleveland Browns stadium!?" yes.......yes I am. I usually allow people to wear clothing when they go to a public place. It's not disrespectful, or insulting, or some ridiculous threat to your well being, its a jersey. Let it go.
2. Barking. Sorry kids, I'm done with the Dawg Pound. Hanford Dixon is gone and the defense hasn't been "Dawg Like" in decades. It's not cute, its fairly mortifying. In most major cities, adults barking as they walk down the street wouldn't be a point of pride, it would be proof of a failed public school system. Well, come to think of it..........
3. Stop using city trash cans to start fires in order to keep warm. This seems to be a staple in the Municipal Lot along I-90. I would invest in gloves. It seems loads easier than moving a metal trash can, filling it with wood, and then setting it a blaze only to put out three hours later. Muni-lot as its affectionately called, looks like the beginning of Terminator 2, with robots being replaced grown folks in Dog masks.
4. Stop walking to the game with hands raised in the air like you just caught the game winning touchdown. Lets start with the fact that the game hasn't started yet, so why anyone would be celebrating is beyond me. Throw a 4-11 record on top of that and its a no brainer that this particular ritual should be stopped. Also, it just looks bad, especially when said "athlete" is holding a cigarette in one of those raised hands.
5. One final thing, to the gentleman that yelled at me and my father to, "move that f^&*ing jap car out of the way," as we were sitting at a red light, I would like to inform you of a few things. Until 2008 the Honda Accord was made in Ohio. Also, the proper place for most vehicles tends to be in the street. I won't get into the nuances of a traffic light, something tells me the colors not being red, white, and blue would cause you to dismiss it's existence.
By no means do I think these people are stupid. I'd bet half are smarter than me. I just don't understand why a South Park-esque mob is necessary before a game. Yes, I know people work hard and pay a lot of money for their tickets. I get the fact that for some people, the eight games at the stadium a year are what makes folks feel better about their crappy job and crappier living conditions. Trust me, I am aware of the passion that people have for the Cleveland Browns (at one point I considered a class action law suit against the team for broken possessions including remote controls, punched-in doors, and once, during a Steelers game a broken-off date) Its great to be passionate, intense, loud, and even a little bit out of control, all I am asking is that people stop acting like idiots.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
3 Browns Takes
-Pay Josh Cribbs whatever he wants. I don't care if you have to rename Cleveland landmarks after him. (most of them have crap names anyway, Public Hall, Public Square, The Euclid Corridor, Tower City, the Galleria?????). The un-drafted free-agent from Kent State returned two kickoffs 100 yards for touchdowns. The previous week, Cribbs beat the Steelers on his own utilizing an offense last seen in Cleveland during the High School City Championship games circa 1964. Josh Cribbs, along with Joe Thomas, and Shawn Rodgers are the only untouchable players on this team. To be honest, with the recent play of 6th round pick Ahtya Rubin, Rodgers may not be completely untouchable.
-Which brings me to Mike Holmgren. For the first time since the Browns came back to town in 1999 the organization has a football person, with real and significant NFL experience making football decisions. I'm not saying the word savior, but I am saying the word hopeful. My only concern, I was just as hopeful when the Savage/Crennell team was announced. I'm not going to get into what I think Holmgren will do, Holmgren himself doesn't know yet. But, I do know one thing, Holmgren looks legit. That look is great, the "eat your oatmeal" guy after a 10 hour flight in coach look, it just bleeds football legitimacy. Of course there also is his resemblance to a certain sea mammal, which reminds me of another former great Northeast Ohio tradition. When Sea World Ohio was open, the Sea Lion and Otter show always closed with the walrus swimming out of nowhere to save the day. The park closed in 2004, the animals moved throughout the country, but I hope the walrus can once again come out of nowhere and save the day.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Randoms
Saturday, December 12, 2009
5 Things.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
5 Things
Sunday, December 6, 2009
5 Things About The BCS.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
5 Quick Things
2. The "Lebron Leaving Cleveland," thing has gotten out of hand. Sports journalists have graduated from annoying to untolerable by making a case as to why their team should be his next destination. This most recent one is absolutely pathetic.
3. The Cleveland sports fan thinks: Because Bill Bellichick sucked in Cleveland and then won three Super Bowls with New England, the next crappy coach to be let go can do the same for the Browns. You know what, we really did deserve to loose our team.
4. The most recent Cavaliers incident means nothing long term. The media yet again finding another reason for Lebron to leave Cleveland. For once, the delusional "us vs. the world" mentality in C-Town is true, nobody in the media wants Lebron to stay in Cleveland.
5. I've changed my mind on this, Patriots had a horrible night against a great team. Not a changing of the guard, can still easily win the conference and make it to the Super Bowl.
Friday, November 27, 2009
10 Observations From Rivalry Week (s)
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Some More Irish Talk
- Urban Meyer already said "no," so what, keep asking until the state of Florida issues you a restraining order.
- Bob Stoops already won a National Championship in Oklahoma, start offering non-stop service from South Bend to Norman immediately.
- Pete Carroll already coaches your rival, great! 100% less earthquakes in Indiana.
- Nick Saban already proved he will jump teams just for the hell of it, keep texting him.
- Lane Kiffin already shook up the most corrupt conference in sports, facebook friend him now!
- Jim Tressel already is getting run out of Columbus, get some graduate assistants in sweater vests as quickly as possible.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Mark It As True
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
"Calmer Than You Are"-Big Labowski
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
"Hes on fire!!" - NBA Jam
- 50,000 word weekly essays from Bill Simmons relating obscure Pop Culture references into the world of the NBA. I am still reading his 2007 NBA opening weekend blast, "haven't had time to absorb that one yet." Hows that for pop-culture references.
- Skip Bayless calling Lebron James "Prince" every time he fails to live up to the Jordan comparisons. Skip should be extra-old man on the porch grumpy this year after his "Boomer-Sooner or later we'll win a big game" Oklahoma team crashed with Sam Bradford's shoulder.
- Kevin Garnett getting super intense for no good reason. A Tuesday night game in March against the Grizzlies turns into the final scene of "Hoosiers," raised leg and all. I'm giving the over/under on the amount of times ESPN shows a slow motion close up Garnett dropping an F-bomb on the court at about 276.
- Stephen A. Smith screaming..... a lot. I am still under the impression people believe talking louder and saying more = intelligence in this country. I heard him on local radio the other day, speaking on the Big Fat Idiot's attempt to join a group buying the Rams. He said the same thing, loudly, over and over again for about 15 minutes. It was a brutal beat down of sound and opinion, with the same words being bludgeoned again, again, and again.
- Knick fans in their homemade Lebron-Knicks jerseys. Oh Knick fan, if Lebron leaves Cleveland there is no value in becoming a Knick, not financially, not culturally, and certainly not if he wants to win championships. They are a horrible, once-great franchise decimated from years of bad management, sound familiar? Not sure what Rachel Nichols will do at ESPN if Lebron James stays in Cleveland and Brett Favre retires, I heard they have an opening for a baseball analyst.
- Wondering how no-one got shot during NBA All Star Weekend. Every year, this turns into a low-life convention that ends in a meaningless basketball game. There are still unsolved crimes in Las Vegas from the event held there in 2007. To quote one report from that weekend "I flew in, saw the crowd and flew out the same day." The game is in Dallas this year which makes me think things won't get too out-of control, as I am under the impression most people in the state are armed.